The Love of a Mother and her Son

As I wake this morning, the first thought that comes to mind is of my son, T. On this glorious day 19 years ago he made his way into the world and forever changed my life. Though he was not my first born, he was my first son, and there is just something about the love between a Mother and her son. My daughter holds her spot well as first everything...child, girl, grandchild, etc, etc. Trust me when I say she rocks it, and it would be very easy for another child to get lost in her shadow. I could never let that happen! For me, he was the one that always thought I was the one that rocked the world.

T is not perfect, not even in this Mama's eyes. We just have a really good relationship. He's the one that ALWAYS thinks about. I know it is going to be so hard to let go of him when the time comes. I have already been going through that with my daughter, and trust me...it ain't fun!!! It hurts like hell. When you have poured your entire life in to raising your kids and they are grown....what's left? I have a wonderful husband and we have a great relationship, but he's not the kids, so it's still a loss.

For me, T is the one that can walk in a room and say, "Mama" and bring a smile to my face. He's the one that is most like my Daddy. The comedians in the family, you never know what the two of them may say or do. He just makes my heart sing with joy. I know I don't have a lot of time left to spend with him, so I try to savor every moment. He has some health problems, so it seems that we spend all of our time together lately at the doctor's office. We make the best of it.

Simply put, I treaure the love I share with my son and every moment I have left with him. He was a "surprise" baby, but I have always said that God knew exactly what He was doing when he sent him to me, but then again, doesn't God ALWAYS know what He's doing?

RevRunWisdom...Jun 4th 11:31am

If you wanna feel rich 2day..Count all the things u have that money cant buy..Somebody pls write me..i luv this stuff! That was Rev Runs post earlier today and I responded, but you just can't really get it in in 140 characters or less!! I am so thankful for Rev Run, he makes me look inside myself each day. As I have gotten older that is something that I have grown to appreciate doing. I have also learned that it is something that is needed if I am to continue to grow as a person.

I have been through a lot of ups and downs in my life, I learned to take the good with the bad. My motto has always been to just deal with what is , and this too shall pass...and it always has. Things will always work out in the end, maybe not in my time, but in God's time....and He is always right on time!

My nephew, Brady was born 12/1/03 with the rare genetic disease Maple Syrup Urine Disease,(MSUD). He was within hours of death by the time we got the diagnosis. It was like receiving a death sentence. I may sound like I am rambling and for that I apologize. I still get very emotional. The first thing we did was take him to the Church to have him prayed for, as crazy as that may sound to some people. Then we went straight to Egelston, Childrens Health Care where he stayed in the NICU for over 2 weeks fighting for his life.My faith in God had never been stronger before or since. When I was in there with him I prayed over that baby and sang praises of God to him. I was secretly waiting for a sign from God that he was going to be alright. The doctors had said that he wouldn't open his eyes for about a week to 10 days, but he started opening them around 4 days after being in there. That was my sign from God!! We all had to take classes about taking care of him and making his formula, that in itself was a science project. We had to learn how to put the feeding tube in and take his blood. We learned right out of the gate that Brady's care was definitely going to be a family affair. He has been in and out of the hospital to many times to mention in his 5 short years of life and I am sure we have alot of struggles ahead of us.

You may be wondering what the words of wisdom have to do with what I am writing...prob. not much to most people, but...riches in the form of money do not mean much of anything to me. As long as all our needs are met I am satisfied. I am happy with what I have. Most importantly I am happy with who I have. When I look into the eyes of my nephew every single day, I feel like the richest person in the world! He was born the Monday after Thanksgiving, and it wasn't until the following Thanksgiving that I truly understood the full meaning of being thankful. The best love is the love that you give!

Labor Pains That Last Forever

Well, it's here. Finally my daughter, K finally hit 21 on this past Friday and I find myself halfway depressed. The other half of me is proud of her that I could burst. Letting go is the hardest thing in the world to do, and I haven't quite decided if I can or if I am ready to let go of my first born. I guess a Mother is never really ready. That being said, I do want her to spread her wings and fly. I would never want to hold her back. Thank God, she has never been boy crazy and is just now in her first serious relationship, which in itself has been a struggle for me. It has taken me a year to accept the relationship. He's a little older than her. I have come to realize now after alot of soul searching that I was seeing him as the person that could take her away from me and also as the person that has the potential of breaking my baby's heart in two. I have come to the point that I have decided that I have got to trust enough in the job I have done as her Mother in raising her. I have to trust that she know what she's doing. Although she may have seen alot of turmoil while I was married to her Father, I have been remarried for almost 15 years. She has definately seen what a good, stable relationship looks like. K is beautiful, inside and out.

My Explanation for Blogging

I am new to this, so please bare with me. I just figured I cannot be the only one out here with the same issues in their lives as I have. Letting go and trying to figure out where to draw the imaginary line that you shouldn't cross any more once your kids have become "adults". My kids have never let me know that they think there is a line, but in this Dr. Phil generation in which we live...I know there is one. That's one thing, and the other is my oh, so wonderful nephew that I love so much. I love all my niece's and nephew's, but B was born with Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD) and our lives revolve around this horrible disease which there is no cure for. I also have a Daddy that is legally considered disabled, though I do not consider him that way. I am sure I'll be mentioning him as I will always be a Daddy's girl myself. I am close to my Mother as well. I am the only girl. I use to be close to my baby brother. I have an older brother that I have never been close to. Like I said about the Dr. Phil world we live in, Dr. Phil says that every child has a role that they play in the family. My older brother believes my role is the "perfect child", which I am most definately not. He just thinks my parents see me as that. I love him anyway. I am sure I sound crazy, you may be right! But only in the best possible way!