Labor Pains That Last Forever

Well, it's here. Finally my daughter, K finally hit 21 on this past Friday and I find myself halfway depressed. The other half of me is proud of her that I could burst. Letting go is the hardest thing in the world to do, and I haven't quite decided if I can or if I am ready to let go of my first born. I guess a Mother is never really ready. That being said, I do want her to spread her wings and fly. I would never want to hold her back. Thank God, she has never been boy crazy and is just now in her first serious relationship, which in itself has been a struggle for me. It has taken me a year to accept the relationship. He's a little older than her. I have come to realize now after alot of soul searching that I was seeing him as the person that could take her away from me and also as the person that has the potential of breaking my baby's heart in two. I have come to the point that I have decided that I have got to trust enough in the job I have done as her Mother in raising her. I have to trust that she know what she's doing. Although she may have seen alot of turmoil while I was married to her Father, I have been remarried for almost 15 years. She has definately seen what a good, stable relationship looks like. K is beautiful, inside and out.

My Explanation for Blogging

I am new to this, so please bare with me. I just figured I cannot be the only one out here with the same issues in their lives as I have. Letting go and trying to figure out where to draw the imaginary line that you shouldn't cross any more once your kids have become "adults". My kids have never let me know that they think there is a line, but in this Dr. Phil generation in which we live...I know there is one. That's one thing, and the other is my oh, so wonderful nephew that I love so much. I love all my niece's and nephew's, but B was born with Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD) and our lives revolve around this horrible disease which there is no cure for. I also have a Daddy that is legally considered disabled, though I do not consider him that way. I am sure I'll be mentioning him as I will always be a Daddy's girl myself. I am close to my Mother as well. I am the only girl. I use to be close to my baby brother. I have an older brother that I have never been close to. Like I said about the Dr. Phil world we live in, Dr. Phil says that every child has a role that they play in the family. My older brother believes my role is the "perfect child", which I am most definately not. He just thinks my parents see me as that. I love him anyway. I am sure I sound crazy, you may be right! But only in the best possible way!